DEFEAT THE HEAT

Summer Relationship vs. Other Seasons

Everybody want to know why men seem to always get in relationships during all the seasons but summer.  It’s actually very simple.  There is just too much stuff to do during the summer to concentrate fully on the relationship.  In the other seasons, men concentrate fully on the relationship due to the fact it’s boring. Sorry to bust your bubble ladies but it’s not you.  But, give me a chance to help you ladies out on how to keep your man during the summer.

First step, is to not be extra when he begins to do different things that he normally didn’t do in the other seasons.  You’re going to notice that he’s beginning to go out with the fellas more and he might not call as he normally would.  But, do not panic.  This is to be expected.  It’s the summertime ladies.

Second step, is return the favor.  Now don’t go to hard but there is no point in you sitting in the house looking dumb in the face.  Go out with your homegirls too.  Believe me, if they have a boo, they are going through the same situation you are going through.

Third step, is not to let the situation get too out of hand on both ends.  Don’t let the man think it’s alright to just ignore the fact that he has changed since the summer hit.  How do you do that?  Simple, take control ladies.  I know its kind of hard for some of you to do so because you don’t know how to reach the happy median of crazy/worrisome compared to the (as my co worker calls it) nice, nasty.

Fourth step, FUCK THE SHIT OUT YOUR MATE! ON THE REGULAR BASIS! The one thing you don’t want to do is stop giving him some because it’s easy to cheat during the winter, fall and spring seasons. Just imagine how easy it is when women out here half naked and choosing!

But honestly ladies, the key is to take control.  Don’t be the crazy woman!  You do have the power of the p.u.s.s.y.  You just need to know how to use it.  Don’t lose the power of it by doing anything with it.    You know have to understand that in the summer things will be a little different.  But, you have to switch it up on your mate.  Keep everything new and excite him and I promise he will remain yours.  Don’t let the summer heat defeat you…

90 DAY RULE MY ASS

90 DAY RULE MY ASS

Ladies, do not attempt to think like a man! It is not in your best interest to do so. For example, what happens when two magnets of the same variable attract? They separate, and try everything possible not to link. Remember the old school statement? “Study long, Study wrong,” well this is definitely true in this situation. I cannot tell you women enough, we are simple! In the movie, they displayed a few situations, in what I like to call the “Man vs. Woman” tug of war. In this blog, I will touch on one of the situations that stuck out the most to me. Which was, the, so called “90 day rule.” Steve Harvey should be shot in the head for actually believing himself when he put that in his book and movie. I know you’ll are not thinking about waiting 90 days! Let’s break this down; 3 months=90 days=2160 hours=129,600 minutes=7,776,000 seconds=90 DAY RULE MY ASS!

You can’t be serious! If you are, then where did the exact number of 90 come from? Why not push it a whole 180? Or maybe a year! Let me share something with you about men. When a man meets a woman, he notices the physical. There is nothig wrong with that! Hell, females do the same thing. (Sidenote- Ladies, you know we can see you looking at our pants for a print right?) Once we get past the physical, it is already set in our head if we want to have sex with you or not. With a man, sex does not need an emotion. Honestly,you don’t have to talk!  We would still have sex, and we would be thankful to avoid the “After Talk.” One thing about most men, is we’re stubborn! If a man has it set in his head, “I’m a hit and quit it,” then a time limit you put on the yams will not stop him from quitting you on the 91st day of your 90 day theory. On the other hand, if you wait a week or two, and a man has it set that he really likes what he is dealing with, he is not going to leave because you let him hit too fast. Hell, it might help your chances of keeping him! Let’s be honest, even women are not trying to wait 90 days. But I can tell you this, if a man does wait 90 days, HE IS HAVING SEX WITH SOMEBODY ELSE! You really want to start your new situation like that?

Now do not get it twisted, I am not saying go out here and just be on some wild stuff.  I definitely am all for getting to know each other. I also will have to say ladies, you have to feel a guy out to know if he is going to be a hit it and quit it guy.  Most of the time, women set themselves up to let a man hit it and quit it.  Lets just eliminate the number 90.  All women have this “clock” in there head.  Most the time it is not an actual day.  It can be dates, how much she knows about the man, who she’s met in his life, etc.  I say this in all my blogs, its all about reaching the median.  Sex is important in relationships, however with a man all you really have to do is find that connection.  It might be sports, cars, exercising, etc.  In the movie she found the median of music with him and next thing you know he was falling without even knowing it.  Men will not tell you we’re falling for you but our actions show it.  Just be observant of the signs we as men give to let you know that we are beginning to fall.  No matter what a man says, we fall in love too…

How to please your woman…

How to please your woman…

Keeping your relationship healthy can not be that difficult.  We as men actually make it much more difficult then it has to be.  We just do dumb stuff that leads to us being in a hole too deep to get out of.  We lose site of what we did in the beginning to get our woman then we end up losing them.  There are 4 simple things that if you consistently do will better your chances of keeping your relationship healthy.  If you constantly make your woman laugh,  be honest with your woman, loyal to your woman, and give her the necessary quality time.  I guarantee you she will stick with you.

The initial recommendation is to make her laugh.  No matter who the person, everybody loves to laugh. Why wouldst you want to see your woman smile? A smile represents positivity.  So take a smile as you making your relationship positive.  I’m not saying be extra but do things that make your lady smile.  It’s simple as that.

The second thing is to be honest.  All women ask for honesty so give it to them.  I know how difficult how being honest can be in some situations but they asked for it so give it to them.  If you are doing what you are supposed to be doing in your relationship, then you wont have to worry about being honest because everything is on the table.  A woman’s mind is constantly in overdrive.  So your best bet is to give her nothing to think about.  For example; if she askes to see your cell phone then let her.  Questioning her motives provides her with incentive to question your truthfulness.  However, do not get it twisted.  If she sneaks in your phone that is disrespectful.  Best believe when you go to take a shower and she goes thru your phone and happens to not find anything, YOU WILL NOT KNOW.  When she ask you a question, please fellas just tell the truth.  More than likely she knows the answer to the question already.  She’s just testing to see if you are going to tell the truth.

LOYALTY! Loyalty nowadays is a lost trait amongst humans.  Not only in relationships but in general.  Loyalty is a difficult thing for people who are just starting a relationship.  When you’re beginning a relationship you also have a past and things that you have been loyal to before.  The best thing to do is to  sit down with yourself and do some pro’s vs. con’s.  You might have had a specific schedule or very open schedule when you were single but you are going to have to change that a little to reach the median in a relationship.  You have to be honest with yourself.  If it will bring negativity to the relationship, then it is something that can be put to the side.  If it is just one thing a woman wants from her partner, it is definitely TIME!  You also have to draw a line between your friends and your partner.  Often in relationships people don’t draw that line and that leaves no boundaries set.  Just because she does not state she is not receiving enough time, it is up to recognize.  Never, I mean never let your woman feel like your loyalty is not 100% to her.  If you really want to succeed in your relationship then loyalty is required.

Which brings me to my next point.  Quality time is required.  Time spent together is a necessity in a healthy relationship.  If you do not spend the necessary quality time with your partner then you will not be able to accurately know your partner.  Often in relationships people worry bout the big traits of there partner.  However, it’s the small things about your partner that you should know.  You should know things about her that a normal person in her life should not.  You will get to know those things due to consistent quality time.  A woman feels if you’re not spending time with her when you are free then who are you spending it with.  It might be that you are with the fellas just chillin’.  But in her head she’s thinking, “Why not me?”  Please take it from me, no woman likes playing second place.  Sure she might say “it’s cool” that you’re not with her but believe me she’s not happy.  Coming home over her crib after you are done with everything else will definitely bring up a red flag.  The question that will present itself is why don’t you want to spend time with your woman?

Fellas it’s time to stop playing around.  I have heard from several of men lately that they are tired of the single life.  My response is the same every time, we need to recognize what we are doing wrong for us not to be in a relationship.  You don’t have to announce it but i will for you.  It’s getting real boring entertaining multiple women.  Not only that it’s becoming difficult.  Especially when the women we be entertaining are all in the same boat going nowhere.  Life is about sharing it with someone you love.  Fellas lets begin working on ourselves in order to be fully prepared for when the day comes “SHE” presents herself.  That way we know for sure we can give 110% to her and never lose her…

 

How to please y…

How to please your woman…

Keeping your relationship healthy can not be that difficult.  We as men actually make it much more difficult then it has to be.  We just do dumb stuff that leads to us being in a hole too deep to get out of.  We lose site of what we did in the beginning to get our woman then we end up losing them.  There are 4 simple things that if you consistently do will better your chances of keeping your relationship healthy.  If you constantly make your woman laugh,  be honest with your woman, loyal to your woman, and give her the necessary quality time.  I guarantee you she will stick with you.

The initial recommendation is to make her laugh.  No matter who the person, everybody loves to laugh. Why wouldst you want to see your woman smile? A smile represents positivity.  So take a smile as you making your relationship positive.  I’m not saying be extra but do things that make your lady smile.  It’s simple as that.

The second thing is to be honest.  All women ask for honesty so give it to them.  I know how difficult how being honest can be in some situations but they asked for it so give it to them.  If you are doing what you are supposed to be doing in your relationship, then you wont have to worry about being honest because everything is on the table.  A woman’s mind is constantly in overdrive.  So your best bet is to give her nothing to think about.  For example; if she askes to see your cell phone then let her.  Questioning her motives provides her with incentive to question your truthfulness.  However, do not get it twisted.  If she sneaks in your phone that is disrespectful.  Best believe when you go to take a shower and she goes thru your phone and happens to not find anything, YOU WILL NOT KNOW.  When she ask you a question, please fellas just tell the truth.  More than likely she knows the answer to the question already.  She’s just testing to see if you are going to tell the truth.

LOYALTY! Loyalty nowadays is a lost trait amongst humans.  Not only in relationships but in general.  Loyalty is a difficult thing for people who are just starting a relationship.  When you’re beginning a relationship you also have a past and things that you have been loyal to before.  The best thing to do is to  sit down with yourself and do some pro’s vs. con’s.  You might have had a specific schedule or very open schedule when you were single but you are going to have to change that a little to reach the median in a relationship.  You have to be honest with yourself.  If it will bring negativity to the relationship, then it is something that can be put to the side.  If it is just one thing a woman wants from her partner, it is definitely TIME!  You also have to draw a line between your friends and your partner.  Often in relationships people don’t draw that line and that leaves no boundaries set.  Just because she does not state she is not receiving enough time, it is up to recognize.  Never, I mean never let your woman feel like your loyalty is not 100% to her.  If you really want to succeed in your relationship then loyalty is required.

Which brings me to my next point.  Quality time is required.  Time spent together is a necessity in a healthy relationship.  If you do not spend the necessary quality time with your partner then you will not be able to accurately know your partner.  Often in relationships people worry bout the big traits of there partner.  However, it’s the small things about your partner that you should know.  You should know things about her that a normal person in her life should not.  You will get to know those things due to consistent quality time.  A woman feels if you’re not spending time with her when you are free then who are you spending it with.  It might be that you are with the fellas just chillin’.  But in her head she’s thinking, “Why not me?”  Please take it from me, no woman likes playing second place.  Sure she might say “it’s cool” that you’re not with her but believe me she’s not happy.  Coming home over her crib after you are done with everything else will definitely bring up a red flag.  The question that will present itself is why don’t you want to spend time with your woman?

Fellas it’s time to stop playing around.  I have heard from several of men lately that they are tired of the single life.  My response is the same every time, we need to recognize what we are doing wrong for us not to be in a relationship.  You don’t have to announce it but i will for you.  It’s getting real boring entertaining multiple women.  Not only that it’s becoming difficult.  Especially when the women we be entertaining are all in the same boat going nowhere.  Life is about sharing it with someone you love.  Fellas lets begin working on ourselves in order to be fully prepared for when the day comes “SHE” presents herself.  That way we know for sure we can give 110% to her and never lose her…

 

Thirst!
 
On twitter, thirst was defined as such -thirst (v) – the continuation of pursuance despite previously failed attempts.  However the dictionary defines thirst as the physical condition resulting from this need, in any of various degrees: They almost died of thirst; or strong or eager desire; craving: a thirst for knowledge.  With that being said, what is the true meaning of thirst? 
 
On twitter, I constantly see women say a man is thirsty when he shows interest in her.  I raise the question, if a man is not “thirsty” or if he doesn’t show interest, then how will he know if he has a chance?  You know how many single GOOD women are just waiting for the right man to approach them?  It’s the main ones on twitter who say a man is thirsty that are single and screwing 5 of their followers.  So who’s thirsty now?  It is impossible to convince me a man is thirsty just because he is attracted to you.  
 
Twitter is somewhat like the club.  If a man notices your avi and likes what he sees, he has all the right to follow you.  You have the right to follow him back.  He then has the right to DM you.  But I guess that’s being thirsty.  Hell if you don’t want a man to try an get at you put a avi up of a fat ugly jank.
 
Now, I do understand when women say that men continue to try to holla at them although it has been SHOWN that you are not interested.  So with that being said maybe the distinction is wanted vs unwanted attention.  However many women say they tell men they aren’t interested, but most of you do not really state in the text/DM/phone call “I’M NOT INTERESTED” because you are scared he gone either go off or you gone hurt his feelings.  Well I don’t know about you all but my Mom told me never be a quitter lol.  It’s all a game.  It’s like you have to pretend not to like the jank to get attention and not be thirsty.  But, then you risk losing her to a man who is just parched and not “thirsty”…smdh. 
 
The truth of the matter is, women don’t know what the hell they want.  In the same hour you see these 2 different tweets:  “That n*%%a is thirsty” then 30 minutes later you see “I wish he would just show me some attention and not be with his friends.”  Look, you have to pick one.  We as men don’t know how to be 50% across the board.  Either you want us to be so called “Thirsty” or you don’t want attention. 
 
I know what women are going to say… “I want attention from the one I like.”  Well let me tell you something.  We don’t know if you like us or not.  Also, if we do have the thought that you like us I’m a tell you what aint gone happen…we will not be that subtweet “he” in “He is becoming thirsty.”  We as men have way too much pride to be involved in your shenanigans on twitter and having people looking us like we’re crazy. 
 
As for women, I feel like it is impossible for them to be thirsty.  When it comes to attraction, we as males and females are one in the same.  If you are attracted to a person, whether it be from a tweet, avi, facebook picture, I say go for it.  They can call you thirsty, however, how will you know if you have a chance if you don’t try.  With that being said…in the words of Dos Equis “STAY THIRSTY MY FRIENDS!”

Stereotypes

Stereotypes kill me.  I’m sick and tired of people letting stereotypes lead them to false accusations of people.  A woman who hangs with mostly males is a hoe?  People are so quick to judge a book by its cover.  To me it’s an excuse due to your reading level being equivalent to a 3^rd grader.  People who judge others are usually not very happy with their lives. So they judge others to attempt to put others on the same ground zero level as themselves.  Stereotypes are not something you should believe in.  They have no credibility.  Human beings are individuals with individualized lifestyles.  You cannot categorize individuals.  It’s an oxymoron.

Why in this cruel world we live in is it impossible for a female to be able to hang with a group of males without being considered a hoe?  Here’s a scenario…you walk into a bar and you see a group of 5 males with 1 female.  Your initial thought is she has to be fucking at least one of them.  For the sake of argument, what if she is?  How does that make her a hoe?  I’ll wait… It bothers me so much because I actually have female platonic friends who aren’t fucking anybody in my circle.  That’s why the term “sister” is used.  Now you do have that small percentage of sick fuckers who call themselves being private and call a woman his sister or best friend and be having casual sex.  However, you cannot just immediately judge a female hanging with all males.  Has it dawned on you that women are possibly the FAKEST CREATURE ON EARTH TOWARDS EACH OTHER!  I have witnessed on too many occasions females backstab one another, so why in God’s green earth would a SMART woman want to continue to be backstabbed? 

So we have the con of being a female hanging with all males, but what about the pro’s.  The number one pro of a female that hangs with mostly males is she is not falling for most of the bullshit we men put women thru.  These women in this category usually are able to sniff out bullshit fast because they are around men a lot.  They see the daily whorish activities men do.  The text messages, the phone calls, the plans, etc.  Another pro is they realize the small things that are needed to keep her man at home.  She hears the conversations between males and refuses to be the woman being talked about.  Females usually go to guys for answers because unlike females we don’t judge their situation.  We’ve probably been thru the exact situation their going thru.

With that being said, men and women both should judge themselves before you’re quick to judge a person.  Men shouldn’t be afraid of a woman that has a lot of male friends.  The biggest thing required in a relationship is TRUST.  If you don’t trust her then don’t get with her in the first place.  You have to understand that her “brothers” have taught her the game and she will not fall for your bullshit.  You sound like a female if you tell your partner she cannot have male friends.  Especially if those male friends were there before you and her became an item.  Females you just need to worry about yourself.  Stop being so quick to judge each other.  It is very possible for a female to hang with mostly males and not be fucking all of them.  Let this sink in conclusion, YOU PROBABLY DON’T HAVE MANY MALE FRIENDS BECAUSE YOU HAVE FUCKED YOUR WHOLE CITY…

Marvin’s Room

Marvin’s Room

I’m a tell you the reason every man has been in Marvin’s Room somehow or someway.  You have been hated on by another man, you have hated on the man that is now dating the one you lost or you’ve been drunk and did something you normally wouldn’t do.

Hated on by another man

No matter who you’re dealing with they have a past and have dealt with another person before you.  Depending on how the break up went there is a 80% chance that her ex is not very pleased with her new relationship.  The question I present it…Is it really hating?  I honestly don’t think so.  I would say it is a natural reaction.  It could be compared to a reflex.  You’re taught if a person hits you, you hit them back.  Why in God’s green earth would you be excited for your ex being happy with another person.  Especially when you’re… “Uh, cups of the XO, All my people been here, I see all of her friends here, Guess she don’t have the time to kick it no more.”  Now, you can lie to me, but you cannot lie to yourself.  When a breakup happens you begin to notice everything that you did not notice when you’ll was together.  I don’t consider “hating”, an ex wanting his/her ex back.  I consider it a natural reaction that love will cause you to display.  Hate is a feeling towards a person you have no reason to dislike.

Hating on the man who stole your ex

Although it is a natural reaction towards losing the one that was once yours.  Do not get it twisted and think that it is alright.  The problem arises when you’ve reached the point where you’ve realized he/she is gone and you still “hating” on their new relationship.  “I want to see you happy even if it isn’t with me” is easier said than done.  Nobody, especially men, want to see a person they dealt with to deal with ANYBODY other than them.  We don’t care how long the break up has been.  The most difficult time is the mixed signals are being thrown out there such as… “F-ck that nigga that you love so bad, I know you still think about the times we had, I say f-ck that nigga that you think you found, And since you picked up I know he’s not around.” When you still try to remain friends with an ex and they are in a new relationship…in their face you try to act happy for them because they’re happy but deep down you’re feeling like “F-ck that nigga that you love so bad…” The friendship can be misconstrued as a mixed signal because even though you are pretending you let go you actually haven’t and every time you all talk, or text, or share a joke, deep down it gives you the false hope that they’ll see what they had and want you back. When these mixed signals are thrown it messes with people’s minds and goes in the category of selling dreams.  This goes without saying…selling dreams is negative no matter how you view it.  Dreams are a figment of your imagination and should never be involved in relationships.  If it’s not reality then don’t mention it.  Dreams in a relationship are equal if not greater than bad credit. Without credit of the words you are saying then you will not get the sale.

Drunken words are sober thoughts

The entire song seems to be all drunken words.  Whenever you tell the person you’re dealing with “We threw a party, yeh we threw a party, Bitches came over, yeh, we threw a party, I was just calling cause they were just leaving, Talk to me please, don’t have much to believe in.”  You are clearly drunk or desperate and begging for attention. This might catch the attention of a female who still have feelings but IF you’re dealing with a mature female she probably picked up the phone just to make sure you’re ok and will notice this cry for attention fast and end the conversation.

Most women SAY they want their man to be real.  However, in all reality there is a such thing as WHEN KEEPING IT REAL GOES WRONG… “I need you right now, are you down to listen to me?, Too many drinks have been given to me, I got some women thats living off me, Paid for their flights and hotels I’m ashamed, Bet that you know them, I won’t say no names, After a while girl they all seem the same, I’ve had sex four times this week I’ll explain.”  There is no way you can honestly think any woman is going to be ok with you telling her this.  Oh yeah, but women want us to keep it real.

Men and women we have to be honest not only with one another but more importantly with ourselves.  Everyone has jealous tendencies.  In the era we live in, hating is a big problem amongst our age range.  It is importance we recognize what hate is and what being a human being is.  In conclusion, it is alright to show emotion.  It is natural for us as humans to fall in and out of love.  Let’s just stay away from doing it the crazy way… “Her white friend said “you niggas crazy”, I hope no-one heard that, I hope no-one heard that, Cause if they did, we gon be in some trouble”…