Boundaries are necessary in every facet of life. Without boundaries, you allow yourself to allow things that should not be allowed in your life. These boundaries you set are personal boundaries. Of course, they can be prioritized with level of importance. Everybody’s boundaries will not be the same, however, they are necessary. Dr. Gionta states, “knowing and understanding what your limits are” is the definition of healthy boundaries.
The biggest issue with making boundaries is usually we don’t sustain them. Without sustaining the boundaries set, there would be no reason to set the boundary in the first place. I personally have done this in relationships in the past. How do we set boundaries? The number one boundary everybody would agree on is NO CHEATING! That usually is the end all be all in relationships. Just playing devil’s advocate, I ask if you take a person back is that going against your boundary? Being a person that has dealt with cheating and cheated and have taken the person back and have been allowed to come back. It’s a thin line to say if NO CHEATING is a boundary. I’ll leave this boundary open for our open forum we will be having soon.
Finances is a boundary that needs to be set. Finances, in my opinion, break relationships up as much if not more than infidelity. Maybe one party would want to create a joint account and the other party wants to keep things separate. Some people believe in the man taking care of the rent/mortgage and the woman doing the bills. Whatever is your cup a tea, I suggest when getting involved with a person seriously (not early on) have a talk about this important boundary.
My last boundary I will speak on is outside friendships. I spoke to a female friend of mine and she was explaining how she likes all of her man’s friends except one. She doesn’t have an issue with her significant other still hanging with his friend but tells him she will not. Now, he is used to her coming and hanging with his friends most times. I bring this example up because I feel like she handled this perfectly. She set a boundary up for herself and sustained it perfectly. She refused to allow how her significant other would feel over something, that isn’t detrimental to their relationship, to affect how she felt. Nothing should change about their relationship because of this boundary. This is why boundaries are so important.
In closing, I suggest, if you’re dating to just have this conversation with your partner about boundaries. We will be having a follow up forum about this topic very soon that will be loaded to YouTube at a later date. I will be blogging once a week again. So, if you have a topic you would like me to speak on feel free to reach out to me on facebook Jimmy Jump.