90 DAY RULE MY ASS

May 4, 2012

90 DAY RULE MY ASS

Ladies, do not attempt to think like a man! It is not in your best interest to do so. For example, what happens when two magnets of the same variable attract? They separate, and try everything possible not to link. Remember the old school statement? “Study long, Study wrong,” well this is definitely true in this situation. I cannot tell you women enough, we are simple! In the movie, they displayed a few situations, in what I like to call the “Man vs. Woman” tug of war. In this blog, I will touch on one of the situations that stuck out the most to me. Which was, the, so called “90 day rule.” Steve Harvey should be shot in the head for actually believing himself when he put that in his book and movie. I know you’ll are not thinking about waiting 90 days! Let’s break this down; 3 months=90 days=2160 hours=129,600 minutes=7,776,000 seconds=90 DAY RULE MY ASS!

You can’t be serious! If you are, then where did the exact number of 90 come from? Why not push it a whole 180? Or maybe a year! Let me share something with you about men. When a man meets a woman, he notices the physical. There is nothig wrong with that! Hell, females do the same thing. (Sidenote- Ladies, you know we can see you looking at our pants for a print right?) Once we get past the physical, it is already set in our head if we want to have sex with you or not. With a man, sex does not need an emotion. Honestly,you don’t have to talk!  We would still have sex, and we would be thankful to avoid the “After Talk.” One thing about most men, is we’re stubborn! If a man has it set in his head, “I’m a hit and quit it,” then a time limit you put on the yams will not stop him from quitting you on the 91st day of your 90 day theory. On the other hand, if you wait a week or two, and a man has it set that he really likes what he is dealing with, he is not going to leave because you let him hit too fast. Hell, it might help your chances of keeping him! Let’s be honest, even women are not trying to wait 90 days. But I can tell you this, if a man does wait 90 days, HE IS HAVING SEX WITH SOMEBODY ELSE! You really want to start your new situation like that?

Now do not get it twisted, I am not saying go out here and just be on some wild stuff.  I definitely am all for getting to know each other. I also will have to say ladies, you have to feel a guy out to know if he is going to be a hit it and quit it guy.  Most of the time, women set themselves up to let a man hit it and quit it.  Lets just eliminate the number 90.  All women have this “clock” in there head.  Most the time it is not an actual day.  It can be dates, how much she knows about the man, who she’s met in his life, etc.  I say this in all my blogs, its all about reaching the median.  Sex is important in relationships, however with a man all you really have to do is find that connection.  It might be sports, cars, exercising, etc.  In the movie she found the median of music with him and next thing you know he was falling without even knowing it.  Men will not tell you we’re falling for you but our actions show it.  Just be observant of the signs we as men give to let you know that we are beginning to fall.  No matter what a man says, we fall in love too…


How to please your woman…

April 1, 2012

How to please your woman…

Keeping your relationship healthy can not be that difficult.  We as men actually make it much more difficult then it has to be.  We just do dumb stuff that leads to us being in a hole too deep to get out of.  We lose site of what we did in the beginning to get our woman then we end up losing them.  There are 4 simple things that if you consistently do will better your chances of keeping your relationship healthy.  If you constantly make your woman laugh,  be honest with your woman, loyal to your woman, and give her the necessary quality time.  I guarantee you she will stick with you.

The initial recommendation is to make her laugh.  No matter who the person, everybody loves to laugh. Why wouldst you want to see your woman smile? A smile represents positivity.  So take a smile as you making your relationship positive.  I’m not saying be extra but do things that make your lady smile.  It’s simple as that.

The second thing is to be honest.  All women ask for honesty so give it to them.  I know how difficult how being honest can be in some situations but they asked for it so give it to them.  If you are doing what you are supposed to be doing in your relationship, then you wont have to worry about being honest because everything is on the table.  A woman’s mind is constantly in overdrive.  So your best bet is to give her nothing to think about.  For example; if she askes to see your cell phone then let her.  Questioning her motives provides her with incentive to question your truthfulness.  However, do not get it twisted.  If she sneaks in your phone that is disrespectful.  Best believe when you go to take a shower and she goes thru your phone and happens to not find anything, YOU WILL NOT KNOW.  When she ask you a question, please fellas just tell the truth.  More than likely she knows the answer to the question already.  She’s just testing to see if you are going to tell the truth.

LOYALTY! Loyalty nowadays is a lost trait amongst humans.  Not only in relationships but in general.  Loyalty is a difficult thing for people who are just starting a relationship.  When you’re beginning a relationship you also have a past and things that you have been loyal to before.  The best thing to do is to  sit down with yourself and do some pro’s vs. con’s.  You might have had a specific schedule or very open schedule when you were single but you are going to have to change that a little to reach the median in a relationship.  You have to be honest with yourself.  If it will bring negativity to the relationship, then it is something that can be put to the side.  If it is just one thing a woman wants from her partner, it is definitely TIME!  You also have to draw a line between your friends and your partner.  Often in relationships people don’t draw that line and that leaves no boundaries set.  Just because she does not state she is not receiving enough time, it is up to recognize.  Never, I mean never let your woman feel like your loyalty is not 100% to her.  If you really want to succeed in your relationship then loyalty is required.

Which brings me to my next point.  Quality time is required.  Time spent together is a necessity in a healthy relationship.  If you do not spend the necessary quality time with your partner then you will not be able to accurately know your partner.  Often in relationships people worry bout the big traits of there partner.  However, it’s the small things about your partner that you should know.  You should know things about her that a normal person in her life should not.  You will get to know those things due to consistent quality time.  A woman feels if you’re not spending time with her when you are free then who are you spending it with.  It might be that you are with the fellas just chillin’.  But in her head she’s thinking, “Why not me?”  Please take it from me, no woman likes playing second place.  Sure she might say “it’s cool” that you’re not with her but believe me she’s not happy.  Coming home over her crib after you are done with everything else will definitely bring up a red flag.  The question that will present itself is why don’t you want to spend time with your woman?

Fellas it’s time to stop playing around.  I have heard from several of men lately that they are tired of the single life.  My response is the same every time, we need to recognize what we are doing wrong for us not to be in a relationship.  You don’t have to announce it but i will for you.  It’s getting real boring entertaining multiple women.  Not only that it’s becoming difficult.  Especially when the women we be entertaining are all in the same boat going nowhere.  Life is about sharing it with someone you love.  Fellas lets begin working on ourselves in order to be fully prepared for when the day comes “SHE” presents herself.  That way we know for sure we can give 110% to her and never lose her…

 


How to please y…

April 1, 2012

How to please your woman…

Keeping your relationship healthy can not be that difficult.  We as men actually make it much more difficult then it has to be.  We just do dumb stuff that leads to us being in a hole too deep to get out of.  We lose site of what we did in the beginning to get our woman then we end up losing them.  There are 4 simple things that if you consistently do will better your chances of keeping your relationship healthy.  If you constantly make your woman laugh,  be honest with your woman, loyal to your woman, and give her the necessary quality time.  I guarantee you she will stick with you.

The initial recommendation is to make her laugh.  No matter who the person, everybody loves to laugh. Why wouldst you want to see your woman smile? A smile represents positivity.  So take a smile as you making your relationship positive.  I’m not saying be extra but do things that make your lady smile.  It’s simple as that.

The second thing is to be honest.  All women ask for honesty so give it to them.  I know how difficult how being honest can be in some situations but they asked for it so give it to them.  If you are doing what you are supposed to be doing in your relationship, then you wont have to worry about being honest because everything is on the table.  A woman’s mind is constantly in overdrive.  So your best bet is to give her nothing to think about.  For example; if she askes to see your cell phone then let her.  Questioning her motives provides her with incentive to question your truthfulness.  However, do not get it twisted.  If she sneaks in your phone that is disrespectful.  Best believe when you go to take a shower and she goes thru your phone and happens to not find anything, YOU WILL NOT KNOW.  When she ask you a question, please fellas just tell the truth.  More than likely she knows the answer to the question already.  She’s just testing to see if you are going to tell the truth.

LOYALTY! Loyalty nowadays is a lost trait amongst humans.  Not only in relationships but in general.  Loyalty is a difficult thing for people who are just starting a relationship.  When you’re beginning a relationship you also have a past and things that you have been loyal to before.  The best thing to do is to  sit down with yourself and do some pro’s vs. con’s.  You might have had a specific schedule or very open schedule when you were single but you are going to have to change that a little to reach the median in a relationship.  You have to be honest with yourself.  If it will bring negativity to the relationship, then it is something that can be put to the side.  If it is just one thing a woman wants from her partner, it is definitely TIME!  You also have to draw a line between your friends and your partner.  Often in relationships people don’t draw that line and that leaves no boundaries set.  Just because she does not state she is not receiving enough time, it is up to recognize.  Never, I mean never let your woman feel like your loyalty is not 100% to her.  If you really want to succeed in your relationship then loyalty is required.

Which brings me to my next point.  Quality time is required.  Time spent together is a necessity in a healthy relationship.  If you do not spend the necessary quality time with your partner then you will not be able to accurately know your partner.  Often in relationships people worry bout the big traits of there partner.  However, it’s the small things about your partner that you should know.  You should know things about her that a normal person in her life should not.  You will get to know those things due to consistent quality time.  A woman feels if you’re not spending time with her when you are free then who are you spending it with.  It might be that you are with the fellas just chillin’.  But in her head she’s thinking, “Why not me?”  Please take it from me, no woman likes playing second place.  Sure she might say “it’s cool” that you’re not with her but believe me she’s not happy.  Coming home over her crib after you are done with everything else will definitely bring up a red flag.  The question that will present itself is why don’t you want to spend time with your woman?

Fellas it’s time to stop playing around.  I have heard from several of men lately that they are tired of the single life.  My response is the same every time, we need to recognize what we are doing wrong for us not to be in a relationship.  You don’t have to announce it but i will for you.  It’s getting real boring entertaining multiple women.  Not only that it’s becoming difficult.  Especially when the women we be entertaining are all in the same boat going nowhere.  Life is about sharing it with someone you love.  Fellas lets begin working on ourselves in order to be fully prepared for when the day comes “SHE” presents herself.  That way we know for sure we can give 110% to her and never lose her…

 


October 18, 2011

Thirst!
 
On twitter, thirst was defined as such –thirst (v) – the continuation of pursuance despite previously failed attempts.  However the dictionary defines thirst as the physical condition resulting from this need, in any of various degrees: They almost died of thirst; or strong or eager desire; craving: a thirst for knowledge.  With that being said, what is the true meaning of thirst? 
 
On twitter, I constantly see women say a man is thirsty when he shows interest in her.  I raise the question, if a man is not “thirsty” or if he doesn’t show interest, then how will he know if he has a chance?  You know how many single GOOD women are just waiting for the right man to approach them?  It’s the main ones on twitter who say a man is thirsty that are single and screwing 5 of their followers.  So who’s thirsty now?  It is impossible to convince me a man is thirsty just because he is attracted to you.  
 
Twitter is somewhat like the club.  If a man notices your avi and likes what he sees, he has all the right to follow you.  You have the right to follow him back.  He then has the right to DM you.  But I guess that’s being thirsty.  Hell if you don’t want a man to try an get at you put a avi up of a fat ugly jank.
 
Now, I do understand when women say that men continue to try to holla at them although it has been SHOWN that you are not interested.  So with that being said maybe the distinction is wanted vs unwanted attention.  However many women say they tell men they aren’t interested, but most of you do not really state in the text/DM/phone call “I’M NOT INTERESTED” because you are scared he gone either go off or you gone hurt his feelings.  Well I don’t know about you all but my Mom told me never be a quitter lol.  It’s all a game.  It’s like you have to pretend not to like the jank to get attention and not be thirsty.  But, then you risk losing her to a man who is just parched and not “thirsty”…smdh. 
 
The truth of the matter is, women don’t know what the hell they want.  In the same hour you see these 2 different tweets:  “That n*%%a is thirsty” then 30 minutes later you see “I wish he would just show me some attention and not be with his friends.”  Look, you have to pick one.  We as men don’t know how to be 50% across the board.  Either you want us to be so called “Thirsty” or you don’t want attention. 
 
I know what women are going to say… “I want attention from the one I like.”  Well let me tell you something.  We don’t know if you like us or not.  Also, if we do have the thought that you like us I’m a tell you what aint gone happen…we will not be that subtweet “he” in “He is becoming thirsty.”  We as men have way too much pride to be involved in your shenanigans on twitter and having people looking us like we’re crazy. 
 
As for women, I feel like it is impossible for them to be thirsty.  When it comes to attraction, we as males and females are one in the same.  If you are attracted to a person, whether it be from a tweet, avi, facebook picture, I say go for it.  They can call you thirsty, however, how will you know if you have a chance if you don’t try.  With that being said…in the words of Dos Equis “STAY THIRSTY MY FRIENDS!”


Stereotypes

July 8, 2011

Stereotypes kill me.  I’m sick and tired of people letting stereotypes lead them to false accusations of people.  A woman who hangs with mostly males is a hoe?  People are so quick to judge a book by its cover.  To me it’s an excuse due to your reading level being equivalent to a 3rd grader.  People who judge others are usually not very happy with their lives. So they judge others to attempt to put others on the same ground zero level as themselves.  Stereotypes are not something you should believe in.  They have no credibility.  Human beings are individuals with individualized lifestyles.  You cannot categorize individuals.  It’s an oxymoron.

Why in this cruel world we live in is it impossible for a female to be able to hang with a group of males without being considered a hoe?  Here’s a scenario…you walk into a bar and you see a group of 5 males with 1 female.  Your initial thought is she has to be fucking at least one of them.  For the sake of argument, what if she is?  How does that make her a hoe?  I’ll wait… It bothers me so much because I actually have female platonic friends who aren’t fucking anybody in my circle.  That’s why the term “sister” is used.  Now you do have that small percentage of sick fuckers who call themselves being private and call a woman his sister or best friend and be having casual sex.  However, you cannot just immediately judge a female hanging with all males.  Has it dawned on you that women are possibly the FAKEST CREATURE ON EARTH TOWARDS EACH OTHER!  I have witnessed on too many occasions females backstab one another, so why in God’s green earth would a SMART woman want to continue to be backstabbed? 

So we have the con of being a female hanging with all males, but what about the pro’s.  The number one pro of a female that hangs with mostly males is she is not falling for most of the bullshit we men put women thru.  These women in this category usually are able to sniff out bullshit fast because they are around men a lot.  They see the daily whorish activities men do.  The text messages, the phone calls, the plans, etc.  Another pro is they realize the small things that are needed to keep her man at home.  She hears the conversations between males and refuses to be the woman being talked about.  Females usually go to guys for answers because unlike females we don’t judge their situation.  We’ve probably been thru the exact situation their going thru.

With that being said, men and women both should judge themselves before you’re quick to judge a person.  Men shouldn’t be afraid of a woman that has a lot of male friends.  The biggest thing required in a relationship is TRUST.  If you don’t trust her then don’t get with her in the first place.  You have to understand that her “brothers” have taught her the game and she will not fall for your bullshit.  You sound like a female if you tell your partner she cannot have male friends.  Especially if those male friends were there before you and her became an item.  Females you just need to worry about yourself.  Stop being so quick to judge each other.  It is very possible for a female to hang with mostly males and not be fucking all of them.  Let this sink in conclusion, YOU PROBABLY DON’T HAVE MANY MALE FRIENDS BECAUSE YOU HAVE FUCKED YOUR WHOLE CITY…


Marvin’s Room

June 22, 2011

Marvin’s Room

I’m a tell you the reason every man has been in Marvin’s Room somehow or someway.  You have been hated on by another man, you have hated on the man that is now dating the one you lost or you’ve been drunk and did something you normally wouldn’t do.

Hated on by another man

No matter who you’re dealing with they have a past and have dealt with another person before you.  Depending on how the break up went there is a 80% chance that her ex is not very pleased with her new relationship.  The question I present it…Is it really hating?  I honestly don’t think so.  I would say it is a natural reaction.  It could be compared to a reflex.  You’re taught if a person hits you, you hit them back.  Why in God’s green earth would you be excited for your ex being happy with another person.  Especially when you’re… “Uh, cups of the XO, All my people been here, I see all of her friends here, Guess she don’t have the time to kick it no more.”  Now, you can lie to me, but you cannot lie to yourself.  When a breakup happens you begin to notice everything that you did not notice when you’ll was together.  I don’t consider “hating”, an ex wanting his/her ex back.  I consider it a natural reaction that love will cause you to display.  Hate is a feeling towards a person you have no reason to dislike.

Hating on the man who stole your ex

Although it is a natural reaction towards losing the one that was once yours.  Do not get it twisted and think that it is alright.  The problem arises when you’ve reached the point where you’ve realized he/she is gone and you still “hating” on their new relationship.  “I want to see you happy even if it isn’t with me” is easier said than done.  Nobody, especially men, want to see a person they dealt with to deal with ANYBODY other than them.  We don’t care how long the break up has been.  The most difficult time is the mixed signals are being thrown out there such as… “F-ck that nigga that you love so bad, I know you still think about the times we had, I say f-ck that nigga that you think you found, And since you picked up I know he’s not around.” When you still try to remain friends with an ex and they are in a new relationship…in their face you try to act happy for them because they’re happy but deep down you’re feeling like “F-ck that nigga that you love so bad…” The friendship can be misconstrued as a mixed signal because even though you are pretending you let go you actually haven’t and every time you all talk, or text, or share a joke, deep down it gives you the false hope that they’ll see what they had and want you back. When these mixed signals are thrown it messes with people’s minds and goes in the category of selling dreams.  This goes without saying…selling dreams is negative no matter how you view it.  Dreams are a figment of your imagination and should never be involved in relationships.  If it’s not reality then don’t mention it.  Dreams in a relationship are equal if not greater than bad credit. Without credit of the words you are saying then you will not get the sale.

Drunken words are sober thoughts

The entire song seems to be all drunken words.  Whenever you tell the person you’re dealing with “We threw a party, yeh we threw a party, Bitches came over, yeh, we threw a party, I was just calling cause they were just leaving, Talk to me please, don’t have much to believe in.”  You are clearly drunk or desperate and begging for attention. This might catch the attention of a female who still have feelings but IF you’re dealing with a mature female she probably picked up the phone just to make sure you’re ok and will notice this cry for attention fast and end the conversation.

Most women SAY they want their man to be real.  However, in all reality there is a such thing as WHEN KEEPING IT REAL GOES WRONG… “I need you right now, are you down to listen to me?, Too many drinks have been given to me, I got some women thats living off me, Paid for their flights and hotels I’m ashamed, Bet that you know them, I won’t say no names, After a while girl they all seem the same, I’ve had sex four times this week I’ll explain.”  There is no way you can honestly think any woman is going to be ok with you telling her this.  Oh yeah, but women want us to keep it real.

Men and women we have to be honest not only with one another but more importantly with ourselves.  Everyone has jealous tendencies.  In the era we live in, hating is a big problem amongst our age range.  It is importance we recognize what hate is and what being a human being is.  In conclusion, it is alright to show emotion.  It is natural for us as humans to fall in and out of love.  Let’s just stay away from doing it the crazy way… “Her white friend said “you niggas crazy”, I hope no-one heard that, I hope no-one heard that, Cause if they did, we gon be in some trouble”…


Seeking Attention

June 2, 2011

It’s crazy in the world we live in, women who beg for attention in the negative form receive it, over those women with morals and who actually deserve the attention.  Daily I see on twitter women tweeting something negative about themselves and wait for a man to fall for it.  For example, a woman may tweet “I really don’t like the way I look” and best believe there will be one man who tweets “Babe you know you are sexy.”  She knew exactly when she tweeted that statement that she was going to get the attention that she so desperately needed. 

Both males and females are to blame for these women begging for attention.  The reason being, it takes both parties for this situation to happen.  If she begs for the attention and gets it, then the outcome will be her continuing this begging.  It is up to us as a men to let these females know that attention will be given when attention is deserved.  It is beginning to make other females who deserve it look bad in these streets.  We as men have to support our females out here doing the right things. 

Men struggle at being able to differentiate between when a woman is faking and when she’s real.  Now I’m not going to completely blame men for making this costly mistake (which usually leads to a terrible relationship).  This is directly stemming from females being GREAT at being somebody that they are not.  Women have the ability to fake something so well that it is difficult, almost impossible, for men (with our simple minds) to know the truth.  Men are black and white and struggle tremendously with thinking outside of that box.  It is either we going right or left. However with women, more or less, they don’t know where the hell they going for real.  Men struggle with saying no to a woman who puts emphasis on the fact that they supposedly have yams or good head.  We also struggle with a woman being immature or a drama queen, and we do anything we can to stop the madness. Usually going along with what she wants for the sake of peace. And last but not least…the WORLD FAMOUS TWEET… “I’M LONELY!”  Woman who act like this get what they want and it makes it seem as if that’s the way to act when men give them the attention they were seeking from the start.  This consequently leads to a good woman going bad (in a sense).  And we all know… “they say you can’t turn a bad girl good, but once a good girls gone bad, she’s gone forever.” –Jay-Z – Song Cry

It is time for our strong women to begin the takeover.  It is time for these basic women to stop taking all the good men from you.  But most importantly, it is time for our good men to recognize that we are usually with the wrong woman due to our simple mindsets and not wanting to do what it takes to get and keep a good woman. We are so quick to pull the trigger on a woman that is easy and wants us.  Ladies, if a man quits due to you being “hard to get” then it’s on to the next one.  It is perfectly fine for a woman to put up a guard and be hard to get.  Usually woman who do that have major rights to do so and who wants a wife who is easy.  More than likely you are not the first man she has been easy with.  Men contradict themselves so much.  We claim to not want a girl who is out there, but then go mess with a girl that’s out there.  Even worse, we mess around and wife her because you don’t want to struggle with fighting for a good girl.  If we as men are going to claim to be this “good” man then it is time we allow ourselves to win. Ladies and gentlemen, LOSERS DEAL WITH LOSERS and that’s the bottom line.  If you claim to be WINNING and you mess with a LOSER…then by default you are a LOSER as well!  Let’s start winning together instead of making the same mistakes…


Judgmental Females

May 19, 2011

The other day a female associate had these negative statements to make towards strippers.  I was attentive to her comments, but during her judgmental rant I’m thinking to myself…does she know that I know she’s had sex with 4 people in my circle?  This happens to much in our community.  We are so quick to judge anothers without even knowing the person’s life.  This has to end in order for us as a whole to move onward and upward.  We cannot keep judging others and expect to be able to improve ourselves or our community. We need to stop focusing so much on the “faults” of others and spend more energy trying to correct our own.

But back to the stripper story…how is it possible to judge a person based on stripping?  It’s not like she’s a porn star and being paid to have sex on camera.  A stripper is just entertainment for men and women.  I hear from many women that strippers are hoe’s.  But how? Stripping is her job, not her hobby. She does it for money…not attention. And above all stripping doesn’t involve any sexual acts. If you do not know that person’s personal life, how is it possible for them to be a hoe. What bothers me the most about this situation is most people who judge others have a slight case of amnesia. But people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones!  If a stripper equates to a hoe, what if you have more sexual partners than a stripper?  What would that make you?

It happens every day with females.  Let me give you a few examples.  Just imagine a women judging you about your hairstyle and she has a lacefront.  There is no way you can judge that women about that.  Weight is another thing women judge each other on.  It’s so easy to judge a woman because she is fat, however you don’t know that her.  While that she maybe fat she could have the confidence of a millionaire. She could have a great job, great man, and great life, while you go home alone, unhappy and bathe in your low self-esteem.  It is also very easy for your judging to turn to hate.  For instance, I remember a lot of days on campus at VCU women looking down upon women for wearing heels on a weekday around campus.  Hearing the famous statement from women “Girl, she is doing too much.”  That’s not judging, that is just hating.  Or the famous hate from a single woman towards a female in a successful relationship.  The most confrontational is the expression of sexuality.  If a woman is confident enough to know her life and what she wants from a man it is considered being a hoe.  I’m not saying go announce it to everybody however if you’re doing the same thing as she is…HOW CAN YOU JUDGE?  I could go on for days with the things women judge each about.

The bottom line to this situation is you cannot judge a person you don’t know.  You have no clue what is going on in that person’s life or the person’s situation.  The famous quote “only God can judge me” should be reiterated to people every day.  What needs to happen is everyone focus on their own personal growth and confidence. Look in the mirror before you judge the stripper or big girl, or before you decide to come out of your mouth with a contradictory statement.  Also look at your flaws and instead of continuing to make excuses for them, do something to fix them.  Judging will get you nowhere in life.  However, making improvements to yourself can never harm anyone. We KNOW better…so let’s DO better!…


Change

May 16, 2011

In relationships change is fine, however there is a line you can cross where you’re not even being yourself.  I know some women look for change from us fellas.  Some things are for the good but when does it become too much?  You don’t want to date Geppetto and you’re Pinocchio.  So I pose the question…When is it too much change?

When I think of change for a female, the first question I ask is why?  If you’re the person that you stated and showed her you were from jump street, then why does she want you to change?  The next question, is this so called “change” for the good or for the bad.  When I say for the bad I mean, is this change she is asking for going to increase her power?  You have to recognize what she wants you to change for.  Is it for the growth of you as a person or for her to be able to control your actions.  Personal growth is something everybody should strive for not only in a relationship but in everyday life.  In your partner, you should want a person that can assist you in life and not hold you back from growth. Personal growth effects how you behave…it doesn’t change your personality or who you are. With that being said; personal growth it just that…PERSONAL. You have to want to be better and you have to want to change your ways. You can’t do it and shouldn’t do it for someone else because at the end of the day you will be unhappy and it won’t be genuine.

For example, there is one common denominator in all women when in a relationship.  They all want TIME!  Now if you were the type of person who was out all of the time, running the city, having fun with your friends, etc.  I’m not saying to continue to do those things because now you are in a committed relationship.  However, you also have to know how to balance everything in your life being that you now have someone else to consider. Finding this balance could be somewhat difficult for a man that is not used to being in a relationship.  You have to find that balance for yourself and enough for your partner to like it.  If you don’t find a way to satisfy your and your partners needs then you may have more than one party mad at you.  I’ve seen people lose friends due to their partner not wanting them to go out anymore.  Now, as a friend you have to understand that person is going to switch a few things up.  But, you cannot change your whole lifestyle. 

Fellas we also can change for the bad.  If you start a situation behaving a certain way then you cannot all of a sudden change without a reason behind it.  Especially with things such as time, attentiveness, etc.  If you started off giving her all the time she wanted or paying attention her every need it’s going to confuse her when you just stop.  You have to be consistent with who you are.  If you know you’re not the type of person that wants to spend all day with your partner then don’t do it in the beginning just to make her happy.  This turns on you and becomes a dream sold.  We have to be honest with our partner but also with ourselves.  You cannot make yourself into a person that you’re not.  Believe me that it will show at the end. You know the famous quote, “what happens in the dark, comes to the light.” 

I think everybody wants that partner who loves them for them!  Growth is essential in a relationship so of course you should want a partner with potential to grow.  “I like the person that you are, but I’m in love with the person you have potential to be”Wale.  However, you should have a core that is not changed.  That is what makes you an individual.  In closing, be open to change however don’t be open to becoming a person nobody can recognize…


Lady in the Streets but a Freak in the Sheets

May 12, 2011

Lady in the Streets but a Freak in the Sheets

Ladies, this is the perfect woman.  However, there is a thin line that many females habitually cross.  Ladies, to be within the parameter of this quote, you have to be a LADY in the STREETS.  That is the most important (and for some most difficult) part of the quote.  Being a freak in the sheets is the easy, yet necessary and expected part. Being lady is about having decorum and carrying yourself in a way that shows that you respect yourself and thus others should respect you also. It’s not to say that you don’t enjoy sex or that you’re really a prude; but a man shouldn’t be able to look at you and know or even assume that you get down and dirty. Or hear your name (or nickname because to men jumps don’t have government names) and know what you did last weekend, last month, last year and with who!

The problem arises when the word lady is replaced by freak…Freak in the Streets!  There is a thin line between being a freak in the sheets and a freak in the streets.  It can happen without you even really doing anything.  Let’s just say you’re on twitter talking bout how your so-called yams are or how your head game is great.  Now although you might not have a lot of partners in real life, you crossed the line by telling the STREETS your business.  No man wants other men knowing how their partners sex game is.  That’s why men don’t even speak on their significant others sex game.  It’s easy to talk about a jank you just beat and it won’t nothing because you don’t care.  However, we do not want our ladies business to be known.

Ladies, nobody wants to wife the community jump.  NOBODY!  There should be no time where men can have a roundtable discussion about your sex game.  That means you’re not a LADY IN THE STREETS, however you’re the local FREAK.  The problem is, most women don’t think they are the freak in the streets and they actually are.  Let me tell you right now, men aren’t going to tell you you’re the local jump.  As men we don’t care what your thoughts are on the situation because we already have been told by other people that this LADY IN THE STREETS act you’re putting on is a fake.

Ladies please stop giving up the yams just cause and acting as if you are JUST a FREAK IN THE SHEETS.  No ma’am, you are the FREAK IN THE STREETS.  You cannot be on social networks bragging on your “yams” or head game and expect a man not to approach about just those two things.  Men only do what women allow them to do.  If we see you talking about sex all the time then that’s all were going to want.  I’m not saying you have to be in a relationship to have sex however I am saying watch the people you decide to partake in sexual acts with.  I’m tired of women getting mad because their business is out there like they did not think it would happen.  If you have sex with multiple people that know each other, best believe they are talking about you.  Stop being naïve!  Men talk just like women do.  However, this goes back to RESPECT! If you gain respect from the man before you have sex with him then the chances of him spreading your business decreases.  If you telling twitter how good your yams or your head game is…then we figure you don’t respect yourself enough to be discrete…so why should we? You must like your business to be public knowledge. Stay away from that thin line that separates a LADY in the streets and a FREAK in the streets…